My Kids’ Family

Avi had a very difficult day on Saturday.  We went to Synagogue like we do every Saturday morning.  Usually Avi, Shayna and I go earlier and mkm and Noam come a bit later.  Our Synagogue has a lot of age appropriate programs for kids on Saturday morning as we have a lot of young families, but Avi has never really wanted to go.  We have learned to let him be in this case, and generally he either sits with me in services, or he just plays by himself nicely (or sometimes not so nicely) in the hallyway.  This time, though, he had brought a ball with him and at some point started throwing it around and he hit a couple of people.

In the end, as soon as mkm got there, I had to take Avi home.  I think it was the first time I had to take him home from Synagogue, but it does remind us that the medication is not a cure-all.  It helps him to focus and cope better, but it does not make him a different person.

From now on, I cannot leave him unsupervised no matter what I or mkm have to give up and we will have to work with this for now.

Sunday came along, and here was a totally different Avi.  We were back at our Synagogue for our Purim Carnival.  Unfortunately due to the fire last year, the carnival was in a different room from usual and Avi did not want to go downstairs to the room.  So he stayed upstairs helping different people doing some things in the Synagogue.  He was such a good boy and in no way resembled the Avi from Saturday.

We just have to take it day by day and hope that the good days outnumber the difficult ones.

So today my regular daily post and the song of the day are combined into one posting. All three of my kids love music and given my particular obsession, they of course have a love of The Beatles. Recently, we moved Avi into his own bed room. He had been sharing with Noam but that caused bedtime problems, so now Noam and Shayna share a room and Avi has his own.

Soon after we bought him a clock radio/cd player for his room. He quickly figured out that his “alarm” could be a CD. I had burned a few CDs for him, but last night he came to me and said, “Abba, can you make a CD for me with “Good Morning, Good Morning” by The Beatles? That would be a great song to wake up to.”

Does my son have good taste or what?

So today’s song is “Good Morning, Good Morning”

And….on top of everything it continues my “middle Beatles” theme that I started yesterday and now I think will continue the rest of the week. “Good Morning, Good Mornin” appears on the Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band Album.

Enjoy!

Yesterday, my middle son Noam had a fever.  Noam is a very special boy and unfortunately due to the cosmic luck of the draw, he was born in between our other two children.  He is a typical middle child.  So much attention is given to Avi dues to his ADHD and to Shayna as she is the baby and is still in diapers etc.  But Noam in the middle sometimes just get gypped.

So yesterday, I got the chance to spend a few quality moments with Noam on my lap comforting him.  And let me tell you.  Those 10 minutes, make everything worth it.

Mykidsmom and I have been struggling to figure out what to do about Avi’s schooling. Right now, Avi is in first grade at The Solomon Schechter Day School of Raritan Valley in East Brunswick, NJ. He is mostly happy here but things have been difficult. He is very defiant and sometimes will sit in class and do nothing, or even worse disrupt the class. Avi started his school career in pre-school at the Gan Yeladeem Learning Center at Anshe Emeth Memorial Temple in New Brunswick. Things were ok at the start, but after a while he was becoming more and more defiant and difficult to deal with. The director suggested that we look into what our services our town could provide. Our town’s public school evaluated Avi and determined that he did not qualify for services. After another 6 months, the pre-school director told us that she was close to asking us to take him out. So we went back to the public schools, this time with some ammo. A friend who is a special ed teacher, a friend who is a psychologist specializing in Asperger syndrome etc. Avi then qualified for services and after 6 months improved so much that for his last year of pre-school he was back at Gan Yeladeem in the am and in the public school in the pm. A difficult day for sure, but Avi did very well.

So then the two declassified him and he had a great Kindergarten year at SSDSRV. Things deteriorated this year is first grade which is why we had private testing done and the final diagnosis of ADHD, ODD and a learning disability. So we decided that we should have SSDSRV ask the county to evaluate Avi and hopefully come up with an IEP that will allow us to move forward.

Well, Monday we had our meeting with his teachers and the county and it was determined that Avi does not qualify for services. So now we are back at square one. Although the ADHD medication has been helping, Avi still has difficulties in class and the professionals are just telling us, wait and see what happens with the meds and the therapy.

Avi is a bright kid, and when I sit with him to help him with his homework, he clearly has learned the material. I just wish we could find a way to help him act appropriately in school. We don’t have all the answers and I don’t know when and if we will but I can only pray that we can help Avi to achieve his fullest potential.

Yesterday was a great day. As will be seen here over time, my eldest son, Avi, has been diagnosed recently with ADHD and ODD. Among other things, he has great trouble not getting his way and (relevant to this post) he get very upset when he looses a game. He is seven and the past 18 months have been particularly difficult for us. He is now taking Adderall and so far it seems to be helping. The medicine is for the ADHD, but allows him to focus more and in that way also helps with the ODD.

Anyway, Avi started the Cub Scouts this year as a tiger scout. This month our pack (and then our district) held the annual pinewood derby. Avi and I built his car and he came in 1st for his den at our pack derby (ok, there were only three in the den, so we knew he would get a plaque, but we did not know he would get 1st).

So yesterday was the district derby. The top three for each den from each pack in our district would race. So Avi was now in a race with 26 other 1st graders. Each car races 6 times. Avi came is 2nd for one race, 4th for 4 races and last for one race. So normally, we would expect a total temper tantrum from Avi because he lost, but surprise, surprise, he was totally fine with it. He said he wanted to make a faster car next year. This from a boy who on Saturday threw the Uno card deck across the room when he lost. I don’t know if it was the medication, or his learning good sportsmanship, but it was a great day!