Published March 24, 2008
ADHD , Avi , mykidsdad , mykidsmom
Avi had a very difficult day on Saturday. We went to Synagogue like we do every Saturday morning. Usually Avi, Shayna and I go earlier and mkm and Noam come a bit later. Our Synagogue has a lot of age appropriate programs for kids on Saturday morning as we have a lot of young families, but Avi has never really wanted to go. We have learned to let him be in this case, and generally he either sits with me in services, or he just plays by himself nicely (or sometimes not so nicely) in the hallyway. This time, though, he had brought a ball with him and at some point started throwing it around and he hit a couple of people.
In the end, as soon as mkm got there, I had to take Avi home. I think it was the first time I had to take him home from Synagogue, but it does remind us that the medication is not a cure-all. It helps him to focus and cope better, but it does not make him a different person.
From now on, I cannot leave him unsupervised no matter what I or mkm have to give up and we will have to work with this for now.
Sunday came along, and here was a totally different Avi. We were back at our Synagogue for our Purim Carnival. Unfortunately due to the fire last year, the carnival was in a different room from usual and Avi did not want to go downstairs to the room. So he stayed upstairs helping different people doing some things in the Synagogue. He was such a good boy and in no way resembled the Avi from Saturday.
We just have to take it day by day and hope that the good days outnumber the difficult ones.
Yesterday was kind of slow, but today, at least tonight will be a bit busier. Tonight will be my first pack meeting as the new cubmaster for my son’s cub scout pack. I am a bit nervous, but I am sure everything will work out ok. Avi love the cub scouts and I hope that he will continue in scouting all the way to Eagle Scout in the Boy Scouts. Below is a photo of Avi in his Cub uniform.
After scouts, we have to put the finishing touches on Avi’s Purim costume (photo on Friday). I discussed some about Purim the other day, but we get dressed up in costume the kids usually have some sort of costume parade before or after the public reading of the book of Esther at our Synagogue (Thursday night). It is a lot of fun and the kids also get goody bags. This will be the first time we have Purim in our Synagogue building since the fire last August, so hopefully it will be even more fun!
Then on Friday the kids will have a carnival at school and I even have off that day, being that the calendar has been nice enough to put Good Friday on the same day as Purim.
So I am looking forward to a fun few days and a nice little vacation from work.
Here are some fun Purim videos.
This next one requires a few definitions. A Gmach is a communal organization where someone will have a bunch of a particular item that people use a lot and loan them out to other members of the community. A good example is a one in my community that has artificial flowers that can be borrowed for different events. A Purim Shpeil is a funny skit that is traditional to do on Purim. And finally many families who have moved from the US to Israel have kept some part of their business or work life in America, so the husbands often fly back to the US for short trips.
Now the video
Mykidsmom and I have been struggling to figure out what to do about Avi’s schooling. Right now, Avi is in first grade at The Solomon Schechter Day School of Raritan Valley in East Brunswick, NJ. He is mostly happy here but things have been difficult. He is very defiant and sometimes will sit in class and do nothing, or even worse disrupt the class. Avi started his school career in pre-school at the Gan Yeladeem Learning Center at Anshe Emeth Memorial Temple in New Brunswick. Things were ok at the start, but after a while he was becoming more and more defiant and difficult to deal with. The director suggested that we look into what our services our town could provide. Our town’s public school evaluated Avi and determined that he did not qualify for services. After another 6 months, the pre-school director told us that she was close to asking us to take him out. So we went back to the public schools, this time with some ammo. A friend who is a special ed teacher, a friend who is a psychologist specializing in Asperger syndrome etc. Avi then qualified for services and after 6 months improved so much that for his last year of pre-school he was back at Gan Yeladeem in the am and in the public school in the pm. A difficult day for sure, but Avi did very well.
So then the two declassified him and he had a great Kindergarten year at SSDSRV. Things deteriorated this year is first grade which is why we had private testing done and the final diagnosis of ADHD, ODD and a learning disability. So we decided that we should have SSDSRV ask the county to evaluate Avi and hopefully come up with an IEP that will allow us to move forward.
Well, Monday we had our meeting with his teachers and the county and it was determined that Avi does not qualify for services. So now we are back at square one. Although the ADHD medication has been helping, Avi still has difficulties in class and the professionals are just telling us, wait and see what happens with the meds and the therapy.
Avi is a bright kid, and when I sit with him to help him with his homework, he clearly has learned the material. I just wish we could find a way to help him act appropriately in school. We don’t have all the answers and I don’t know when and if we will but I can only pray that we can help Avi to achieve his fullest potential.